So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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