Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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