So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
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