did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
my sisters under your porch take her home
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
