i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Randomize
