that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize