Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
