my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!