glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard