she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
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