about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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