How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Randomize
