we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
My Higher Power is John Stamos
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
