So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
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