Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
my poor anus
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic