it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
