Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
