Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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