Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I could fuck to npr.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
