Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
