I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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