i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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