is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
