He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
