she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
So much rum. So many feels.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
