What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
