It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
