Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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