my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Drake has all the answers
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
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