the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
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she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
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I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
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