four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Just high enough for therapy.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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