Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
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