i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
be right there i have to get my cape
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
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