You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
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