So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
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