So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
