ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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