HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
