On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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