Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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