You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
