I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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