with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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