The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
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