My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Randomize
