ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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