I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
25 People Confess The Biggest Betrayal They Have Ever Faced
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....