Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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