I wanna bring you to show and tell
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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