Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
