I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Randomize