it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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