i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This beer is not sobering me up at all
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Randomize