you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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