i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
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