I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
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The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
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